as for now..

Change isn't that bad. That's something from the moment I realized it, i would admit didn't leave my thoughts. So as i write this post at exactly 19 minutes before two in the morning, i know i am bound to make a big one. and am i prepared for it? i don't know..i guess i'd just stick with my recently acquired fondness of uncertainties. after all, that's what life is all about, right?

and as for some details about this big change, i probably won't need to get into the nitty-gritty of it..for once, i'd like to keep it to myself..and i'm hoping that you could all give me that. let's just say i have my reasons. and my reasons are far more important than other concerns i know 'some people' would definitely think.

so that's it. this is the most i can say.

new haven

back in pinas, my comfort place there was the parish of the holy sacrifice in UP. during those times that i felt so down and out. so that place surely knew all of my raves, but mostly rants about my miseries in life.hehe

here in macau, i'm just so happy to finally found a new comfort/hiding place. where i can read all my books and just relax and take a breather.where everything seems so at peace..thanks to my cousin osef's urge to walk around taipa village. same in UP, this new place also has a little church named Mt. Carmel..now i know why my friend osan (during her visit last september) told me that she wants to get married there.i so love the place! a cozy haven amidst the busy city. ^_^

re-entry...

halooo...i know...it's been a while since i last wrote an entry. ever since my HK holiday, been so tied up with my books. yes, i finished four (4) in barely a month and i actually still have three (3) waiting in line. why the sudden addiction? i guess i really missed reading and i enjoy the elated feeling after a good read. it actually took me a while to open my blogspot account. whatever happened to my impeccable memory!haha or should i say blame it on my books...my mind's been fed with so much stuff but don't worry i made sure, only the good stuff.hehe

so after an almost overdose, i decided to take a breather, put my books down for a while, and rest my hands on this laptop. maybe holidays are supposed to put your mind at rest, lull mode. but i believe otherwise. we should not leave our minds idle. like what Henry Ford once said, "thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why very few engage in it." funny but true, right?haha so let me jot down some thoughts i have now. somewhat connected to one of my friends' recent confession about her emotional situation. again...sigh....

i certainly won't brag about successfully surpassing the similar stage i had. one of the realizations i had that served as a therapy for me, from all the inspiring stories i've read and all the videos i've watched from http://www.preacherinbluejeans.com/ (certified addict!), it would probably be eliminating comparison. i guess when you're in deep shit, you tend to compare your situation with others, especially when you've given all your guts out and you've worked your ass off for something and suddenly you'd just see some people taking it without even trying to lift a finger. it's so easy for you to say, "they don't deserve it." but after taking some time to allow some sense to come thru your mind, you'd realize that it's not how the world works. true enough, if you don't deserve something, it doesn't mean it would not be given to you. positive or negative. what seemed to be for you as an effortless acquisition for others, can be the only thing they've been waiting for the longest time. but the main catch is, too bad they got it at your expense. well the damage has been done. so it's your choice if you want to weep for what you've lost and what you don't have or celebrate for you have and what you're blessed with. not a tough decision after all.

indeed, quoting Coelho, "when God wants to drive a person insane, He grants that person's every wish."

well that explains my sporadic insanity!hahaha